This chapter is for kids, but you parents can read it also. I might warn you kids that if your parents read this and use the ideas presented here, you will probably have a very hard time teaching them to yell at you. So, if you want to work this in a really slick way, don't let your parents read this chapter.

According to behavior modification rule number 1 and the general principle of behavior modification, behavior is maintained by its consequences and is learned by being rewarded. Many times have I observed kids teaching some adult to yell at them by withholding the reward of minding until the voice level has been raised to a certain decibel level.

Here's the way you teach your mom (or anyone else for that matter) to yell at you: All you have to do is ignore all orders she gives you until she has repeated the orders over and over again and at an increasingly louder voice level. Finally, when she is yelling loud enough, you reward her by doing what she wants.

She will probably make it sound like her orders are merely requests at first by ending her order with the question "okay?" to make is sound like she is enlisting your co-operation. She may even preface the order by the word "please" or "will you please" or some other weasel phrase which she thinks will prevent her from sounding too bossy. The problem is she really means for it to be an order but she is too chicken to make it sound like an order. You might go back and read the chapter on orders vs. requests to learn more about this.

Since your project at this time, however, is to teach her to yell at you, it is important you latch onto every gimmick you can to avoid doing what she wants at first. Considering her ambiguous orders to be requests is a good first step. Of course, if someone makes a request of you, it is up to you to decide whether you will do it or not. That is what a request or a choice really is. With choices you can choose not to do it or to do it according to what you want.

The best way is just to ignore her at first. She will probably repeat the same order but in a louder tone of voice. Keep on ignoring her and doing just what you want to do. It is important you don't reward her just yet. There is mainly only one danger for you in doing this. If you miscalculate her resolve and hold out too long before you respond to her, she may deliver some unwanted consequences to you.

It's just a matter of gradually stretching the number of times you require her to yell before you do what she wants. Don't expect her to learn to yell right away. First, you delay just a little bit before you mind her. Maybe you will require two repetitions of the order before you mind. Then, you gradually stretch it out until she has repeated her order a lot of times. She may even try the old gimmick of counting to ten. Moms have learned kids respond to the countdown because the kids know exactly how long it will be before she gets to ten. That gives you a response, she will really get carried away and have a good way of knowing how long you can delay before minding her. You might want to try to stretch the count out to twenty or higher. If you are careful and work it just right you can have a great time working her up to one hundred.

Don't worry, she will learn quickly. You will be able to ignore her for a long time before she actually delivers some aversive consequences. Your main job is to learn just when she is at the point of doing that and then respond to her order just before that. The countdown is only one way and some moms won't use that method. They have learned it at the start because you responded when they reached ten (or three) and rewarded them for giving you the countdown. Any way you work it, you can always find some way to avoid minding right away. But watch out for moms that deliver consequences before you are ready.

Of course, you will have some trouble knowing just when that will be. This is because moms (or dads) are seldom consistent. One day she may be in a good mood and you can wait a long time before you mind her. Another day she may be upset easily and you better mind quickly. You will soon learn by the sound of her voice when she is about to get you. As soon as you learn where that point is, you will have very good control over your mom. If you want, you can really exasperate her if you will just push this close to her breaking point. Most moms won't see through your scheme.

If you really want to get her worked up, you can wait until she explodes and then start crying or arguing with her. If you join in with her emotional state you can have a delightful tantrum yourself. You will find these a lot of fun and they will be incentive enough for you to keep up with your skills in teaching her to yell at you.

Be careful, however, that you don't misjudge her and get yourself punished. Many kids have gone too far and found themselves very sorry as a result. If you have one of those moms who don't put up with your ignoring their orders and deliver consequences after the first ignored order none of this stuff will work. You will have to find some other way to get your mom's goat. Let's hope you mom hasn't read this chapter (or any of this book) or you will have a very difficult time working her.

Mom may learn you won't mind until you believe you will get the consequences after the first ignored order. If this happens all is lost. You will have to learn to behave the way she wants or you will be sorry. The way she can make you believe she means business is to refrain from raising her voice or repeating an order more than once. If that order is ignored, the next step will be something you don't want to happen.